Krishnan the ice-breaker

Recently I participated in the Vashi Agnel Toastmaster's tall tales contest, which tests a participant's exaggerated story telling ability.  Here's the speech I delivered. 

Good evening fellow Toastmasters and friends. I vividly remember the 21st of July last year when I gave my ice breaker speech at Vashi Agnel Toastmasters. When I finished the speech, the audience stood up and gave me an applause and it kept on continuing for a long time. Finally, when my legs started to ache, I decided to bow my head and acknowledge the audience, hoping that they would stop. When I got my head up again, the applause had still not stopped, but the audience had changed. The heads of state at the United Nations general assembly were now clapping for me - clapping in wonder about how I had broken the arctic polar ice. The applause was deafening and I think the noise shattered some of the Antarctic ice too.

Finally when the clapping stopped, my old friend Donald caught up with me and said "Hey Krish". I interrupted him, "Not Krish - name's Krishnan. Ice breaker Krishnan. And I like my lassi shaken not stirred...... with extra badam". Donald had a problem with his neighbors and wanted to build a wall so that they don't sneak into his country. But he didn't have enough money for a concrete wall. "Then build it with Ambuja cement da", I told him. "And use Kajaria tiles. I used it for my bathroom - its chakachak". "But I don't even have enough support for building the wall" he said. "Don't worry, If you want, I can build it here in the India-Pakistan border and transport it to your border. My friend Hanuman will get it there - he runs a transport company. He recently finished delivering a mountain to Sri Lanka. You just pay him the toll, nothing more "? I told him.

Next I was met by my college drop-out friend Billy who looked very sad. "I have built Microsoft and been the world's richest man", said Billy. "Now I do Philantropic work and donate my billions of dollars" - and before he could say anything more, I asked" dei Billy, can you give me 20 Rupees - I have to catch a share auto to India". Handing over the note, he said, "I am worried that I am growing old and I will never be able to complete my philanthropic work". "First finish your education da” I said. “Your algebra teacher is still looking for you. What is the point of all this philanthropy if you haven' yet proved that LHS=RHS. There are two extra marks also for that. Do that first. If you don't study, then you will always remain a carpenter only making windows for everyone.” I said.  

As I was advising all this to Billy, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned back and was taken aback by the radiance emanating from that person. As my eyes got adjusted to the light, I noticed that it was Rajnikant sir. I said, "Ayya, did you hear how I broke the Arctic ice- just like you". "Kanna if you continue down this atrocious path, then one day you will replace me", he said with a smile. "How can a student replace his guru" - I asked him. With a hearty laugh, he replied "We will see". Hearing him say that I could replace him one day, tears of joy filled my eyes. I closed my eyes, folded my hands and bowed my head in reverence.

When I opened my eyes, I realized that the audience at Agnel Toastmasters had stopped clapping long time back. The Toastmaster of the day was also signaling with his eyes that I had overstayed and that the stage was now his. So, I shouted, "Back to you Toastmaster of the day" and slithered back to my seat.

A subject I know nothing about

A few weeks back I gave my second speech under Pathways at Toastmasters. The objective of the speech was to research about a topic that I have very little knowledge of, and to give a well structured speech on that. So, I spoke about how men and women talk & think differently and why it is so difficult to understand the opposite gender.

Here's the YouTube video of my speech.  Or if you would like to read it, then the transcript is given below.

Good evening fellow toastmasters & friends. As my evaluator explained, for my 2^nd speech, I am supposed to research on a topic that I have very little knowledge of and go ahead & give a speech on it. So, I decided to research about what my wife really “implies” when she tells me something – or to make it a bit more generic, what exactly are the differences between the way guys & girls talk and think which makes understanding the opposite gender so difficult.

While researching on this topic, I stumbled upon a book called “men are from Mars & women are from Venus” written by a psychologist and relationship counselor named John Gary. The title was very cliched and it reminded me of Yash Raj films, but, in the spirit of curiosity, I started reading it.

• The first thing it talks about is how men & women deal with stressful situations differently. When faced with difficult problems, men have a tendency to retreat into a “cave”. That cave could be the company of friends, tinkering with the bike in the garage, or distractions of that sort which lets the man relax and re-examine the problem later from a fresh perspective. Women, on the other hand, feel more comfortable when they talk about the problem with a loved one– it might not give them a solution, but, it helps them relax so that they can address the problem better. So these varied tendencies automatically create a beautiful conflict. There is a problem at home – the lady wants to talk about it with her husband & relax. And the husband – well he wants to have a few pints of beer with his friends to calm down and think about it later. The point is that both of them are trying to address the problem – but in their own ways. So, many times it is best for the woman to let the man retreat into his cave & come back refreshed and its best for the man to give a patient hearing to the woman without jumping in with “solutions”.

• The second thing Gary talks about is how men & women maintain points in a relationship. In any relationship, a nice date gets a positive point and a fight gets a negative point – that’s natural. Women have a tendency of maintaining equal points for all acts-big or small. So the points tally increase as you do more and more good things – not necessarily the fanciest of gifts & dinners. Whereas, men maintain an expenditure balance where big activities get big points & small acts get small ones. So, a woman might feel unloved for a small thing like her husband not making tea for her in the morning, but, her husband would find her to be too demanding as they had just gone for dinner to a great restaurant yesterday night - and on top of that she expects him to make tea also in the morning.  John Gary suggests that the best way to address this “difference in points taking” is by having an open & honest conversation about acts – or the lack of it, that makes either of the parties feel unloved.

•  The third point to note is that men like to have their abilities recognized by others while women like their feelings to be recognized by others. Consequently, when a man is doing something and a woman recommends a different approach, the man feels that his ability is questioned – especially when he is doing some “manly” things like carpentry, fixing things, etc. Similarly when a woman is expressing her problems and the man gives her solutions for the problems instead of hearing her out, then she feels that the man is not appreciative of her feelings and just gives solutions that she herself knows. The approach to manage these situations can be very easy & convenient. The woman just has to express her confidence in the man’s abilities & leave him to his work – one of those “I know you will take care of this”. For the man, it’s even more easier. When a woman is expressing her problems, all he has to do is shut up & nod his head – one of those “I understand you” behavior. He just has to remember not to give any “constructive suggestions”. Let the woman express her feelings and somewhere in that she would have herself, told the solution also.

Over decades, using these three primary principles, Gary has helped many individuals & couples appreciate & understand each other better. Obviously for each of us there would be dominant traits, dormant traits and some traits of the opposite gender than we might also express. Also many of us would be thinking – “the fundas are all good, but, how do I implement it in real life”. As I conclude, I would like you to take the first step by thinking about the most memorable fights that you have had with your significant other – boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, brother, sister, father, mother, etc. and see how you could have behaved & felt differently had you known these principles.

Thank you.

Some memorable moments from my life

A few months back I completed my ice breaker speech (1st speech) in the new Toastmaster's pathways program. Among the many speeches that I have give at Toastmaster's, this speech will remain special to me since,with this speech,  I returned to Toastmaster's after a gap of almost 11 years and, coincidentally, I won the  best prepared speech ribbon also.

Below is a transcript of the speech. Thoughts & feedback are welcome.

Speech Title : Some memorable moments from my life

A wise man has said that there are 2 important days in your life – the day you were born and the day you realized why you were born. Well, I can say that I have realized the importance of the first one, and, I am still figuring out the 2^nd. Good evening friends. For my first speech with Agnel toastmasters, I want to talk about some memorable moments from my life.

In June 1983, India won the cricket world cup for the first time, and 3 months later I was born. Though I was born in Madurai, I have always considered myself as a Mumbaikar – I have lived here, I have grown here, I have loved the place, I have hated the place, and somehow it has become a part of my life.  My childhood was spent in Anushaktinagar – the BARC residential colony. I remember my childhood in a very bipolar way. The colony was beautiful & my friends were close, but, my schooling was extremely competitive. Everyone was a “scientist ke bacche”, and so the peer pressure to excel was tremendous. I really don’t remember how I performed in school, but apparently I made my mother a very religious person - she strongly believed that only god can save me.

After finishing my education, I joined TCS in Hyderabad. That was the first time away from home and I enjoyed every bit of it – both the responsibilities & the “freaking out” that came with it. It was also the time when I got introduced to Toastmasters – I was a member of TCS Hyderabad Maitree toastmasters for some time. After working for three & half years in TCS, I took a study leave to do an MBA – and I ended up graduating in peak recession in 2008-09. I remember our placement “week” that lasted for only half a day as only so many companies came for recruitment. In hindsight, I learnt more about sales in that one year than I have learnt in a 14 year career – I had to sell my skills to reluctant recruiters and get a job. Thankfully I was on a study leave, and so I could come back to TCS.

Life slowly came back on track over the next 2-3 years and then something amazing happened. India won the world cup again in April 2011 – and 4 months later I got married.  I think there is a karmic connection between me & the world cup. Me & my wife Bhairavi are two extremely different personalities , but, somehow we came together & agreed to get married. I wish I could say that my life has been a “happily ever after” since then, but the truth is that it has been more of a roller coaster ride than a bed of roses. We fight, we fight more, we fight even more, and then suddenly a realization dawns that only this person can tolerate me, others can’t, and we realize the amazingness of our relationship again.

Four years after marriage, in 2015, I had an epiphany. In my life, just my personal life being exciting was not sufficient – my job had to be exciting too. That, and some other reasons, made me transition from TCS to an e-commerce start-up. Suddenly from a 3.5 Lakh people organization, I had moved to a 100 people company. The next two & half years were amazing. I built a business from scratch, built an amazing team and had some great experiences. It was like being Himesh Reshammiya – I was the actor, I was the singer and I was the director too. About 7 months back, I moved to Raymond Apparel to take care of their digital initiatives. So these days I inspire people to be a “complete man”.

Talking about being a complete man, over the last 30+ years, I have realized that people’s lives get built around certain pillars - such as family & relationships, career, finances, health, hobbies, etc. One’s life is “complete” with a strong foundation when “each” of this pillar is well maintained – not just one or two. For example, too much focus on office at the expense of family gets instant success, but not long term satisfaction. As I conclude, I urge you to identify your pillar and nurture each one of them – they are the horses of your life’s chariot – they “all” have to be strong & run together.

Thank you.

Allahabad Trip

I was in Allahabad for 3 days for a cousin's wedding. It was my first UP trip and below are some things from that trip that I will never forget:

1. Guns, guns and more guns- have never seen so many guns at one place. Shotguns, pistols, rifles, AK-47, sten guns. There was even a warning at the entrance of one hotel - "Carrying all forms of arms and ammunitions is strictly prohibited"
2. Hospitality - People really worked hard to make our stay comfortable. Special thanks to nanha, bangali and... forgot the 3rd guy's name :D
3. Nicknames- Everyone has a nickname.
4. Paneer - The best paneer pakoda I have ever had. Also, it was like paneer everywhere.
5. Buses - I think Allahabad stopped receiving buses in 1970. In age, the buses gave serious competition to the oldies of my family.
6. Band, baja and dance - It is an amazing feeling to lose all your inhibitions, go into a trance and just dance.
7. Dhoti and Kurta - Weird feeling to wear a dhoti for the morning functions and kurta for the evening ones. (It was one of those East meets South marriages)
8. Filthy station - Was shocked to note that Allahabad station is filthier that Kurla station
9. Bahubalis - Half the people in the city looked like a bahubali straight out of Omkara.

The stories of your palm

When I see those palms of yours, I see each line telling a story - fate, heart, money. Much like the flowers of a garland. Each distinct but together. Each a different story but of one person.

I Love You

So sweetheart, this is the point when I am supposed to say "I love you" and you are supposed to burst out tears of happiness and say "I love you too", but none of that is happening tonight cos I am too drunk to do stupid things :)

The future of India

A few weeks back,on the eve of Independence day, I was sitting in an auto near Thane station, waiting for the signal to turn green. At that time, a car sped by in the opposite direction, and a small tri-colour plastic flag fell out of the car's window. The flag glided in the air for a few seconds and gently landed in a small puddle of water. A street urchin selling flags in the signal saw this and dashed off towards the flag, leaving his wares in the corner of the road. He was helped by the traffic constable, who whistled for the cars to stop and give way to the kid. The little one lifted the flag, wiped away the muddy water from it, folded it neatly and kept it in his pocket. He again darted off, this time towards his ware and the next whistle from the constable let the cars continue. The future of India rests securely in such children and constables who stop their daily life for a few seconds to save a plastic flag.

How to evaluate discount offers

A post I wrote for the Saledekho blog on evaluating discount offers by focusing on Need, Cost, Discount amount, Location and Duration.

The cell that defines you

With so much options in the Indian cell-phone market these days, what should a buyer do. The buyer should FLOCUS (Features, Looks, Offers, Cost and USage). Read the complete article that I wrote for Saledekho.

Start-up names

For the last couple of weeks I have been stumbling upon websites (mostly those of start-ups) whose names I just can't spell when I hear it for the first time. Examples: here and here. I am sure that these start-ups are run by smart folks and that they will create amazing stuff and make substantial money out of it. I am also sure that if I ask these guys why they name their website this way, I will get an answer which will not be as outrageous as their URLs. Still, I feel that I should list down the criteria that I would consider when naming a company:

• It should be pronounceable

When I tell someone on the phone/skype "go to blah blah", I don't want to spell out my URL. It should be simple and evident. Good example of that is dropbox and a really bad example is kyazoonga.

• The domain should be available

If you are creating say an online marketplace for books, don't even bother to look for domains like bookbazaar, because, it would have already been taken or squatted.

• It should not be very long

Long URLs always have their own set of problems. Not being able to remember the URL is just one of them.

• It should be self explanatory

I would like to minimize the time and website real-estate spent in explaining the use of the website. Towards that end, a meaningful URL would go a long way. Example: Blogger. You blog in Blogger. Simple. Another good example is moneycontrol and tinyurl.

The droplet and the world

When you look at a droplet of water hanging on to a window sill, you see the world staring back at you in reflection. A realization dawns. The world is so small that it is completely reflected in the droplet and the droplet is so large that is encompasses the world. This realization is the beginning of an awakening. An awakening to the fact that size is irrelevant. Size doesn't matter. What matters is only the thought. The thought of the droplet and the world.

Management by Crisis

Management by crisis is the idea of addressing a problem only when it becomes a crisis. Typical symptoms in the IT industry include:

• You keep getting crisis all the time (most obvious one)
• Everyday is like trench warfare - answering stink mails, having icy conference calls with customers, having meetings to decide on strategies before calls, etc

• Everyone works hard all the time and yet the customer is not happy
• A bomb greets you everyday in office. While leaving you get the satisfaction of difusing it. Next day there is another one to greet you

• projects seem to be 
  perennially in  critical stage

• Wrong people get appreciated
• People who handle escalations smoothly get appreciated, but,the ones who ensure escalations never come up in the first place get ignored

• Schedules go for a toss because of "urgent" issues
• Classic example : Initial plan of monthly movement to production gets replaced by daily production patches to fix "critical" bugs

Somethings leadership lessons to learn from IPL 3

• The end does not justify the means
• Great brand, more crowd & interest, more money. Everyone was happy except for the people who cared about the way it was done.

• You can only make a limited number of enemies
• Try to make partnerships and grow rather than bulldozing
• Don't take anybody for granted - everyone has a value and a nuisance value

• "Knowing people" will not bail you out when you screw-up

• Failure is always an orphan and instead of parents, it has a fall guy

• Being patient and sitting quiet to fight another day is most times better than going down all guns blazing
• Shashi Tharoor's response Vs Lalit Modi's response

Introspection time

This month end, I will finish one year since graduating from Great Lakes. So, time to look back and jot down (in no particular order) some of the things I learnt in B-School and the year after that:

• When under strong emotion, don't take a decision
• Be it anger, frustration, elation... wait till you cool down and then think about what you want to do

• Change the changeable and accept the unchangeable
• Makes life simple and helps you stop wasting time on meaningless pursuits

• While manufacturing/running something, if you are making a loss for each unit produced, then aggressive expansion will only increase your losses
• For example, Reliance Retail will make profit only if each of it's store makes profit. It will not make profit be opening 1000 outlets in one year. 
• This is very useful in analyzing companies that talk about expansion & capturing market share without talking about profits and sales figures (Example: Airline Companies). 

• Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the result of other people's thinking
• Read the whole speech here. Very inspiring stuff.

• Don't let your dreams be high-jacked by the incompetence of the people around you
• Many times, we don't get to choose our surroundings, and end up being surrounded by demotivated and lazy people. However, that shouldn't make us give up on our dreams.
• It takes lots of effort and hard work to get the habit of being an achiever and only a few slack-offs to lose it.

• Be sincere, not just serious

• Networking is useful only when you are competent
• No amount of "knowing people" can land you a job/raise/change unless you are competent and deserving.

• Separate out the symptom from the problem
• 90 hour work week is the symptom. Fear to delegate is the problem.

• You need very few things to live a contended life. The rest are wants

• To understand a company look at it's cash flow
• Though I use both twitter and dropbox, still, as an investor I would put my money in dropbox which acquires customers and makes money rather that twitter which just acquires customers.
• Also, I might get good returns faster in Airtel or Idea Cellular where money keeps moving rather than in Tata Communications which has great assets, but, slow money churning.

• And of course the most important and oft repeated one.. There is no substitute for hard work

Some productivity improvement tips

Its a nice 4-day weekend, and I just didn't feel like wasting it. So, thought of writing a post on things that I do in office to improve productivity.

• Listing and prioritizing 

I always have about 20 activities pending and time for 10 of them. So, till I put up a structure to delegate and get work done from others, I like to keep a "to-do" list (day-wise) with the most important and urgent activity on top. This not only helps me remember things, but, also helps me in estimating completion time for all activities.

• Being in the flow

Some of the activities I do, requires me to have tremendous concentration and so I like to be in a flow when I am doing it. The biggest obstacles to this are e-mails and chat pings. So, I normally put a schedule to check my e-mail (maybe once every hour) and respond to pings only if it is urgent or important. 

• Maintaining a proper office timing

I like to reach office before most people arrive (to get some work done productively) and leave at a specific time. This limitation on the time spent in office forces me to respect that time and makes me push myself to achieve more in that limited time. This also helps me maintain some sanity in the work-life balance front :)

• Pushing yourself to achieve more

Which brings me to the next point of raising the bar. If I feel that I can do x activities in one day, then I set myself a target of doing 20-30% more. This is of course with the implicit assumption of not compromising on quality.

• Enjoying what you are doing

I am a strong believer of the theory that the greatest employee incentive is giving work that the employee enjoys. Though there is always some necessity to do boring/routine/mundane work, but, on the whole if the work is not enjoyable, then the productivity automatically goes down. Then the problem is not about productivity & efficiency, but, about the work itself.

What other companies should learn from Apple and Google

Those two seem to have got everything perfectly correct.....happy customers, great cash flow, great brands, pretty decent future, etc. So what do they do differently?

• Understand what the customer wants, before the customer understands it
• This is similar to the idea generally conveyed, when people talk about visionary product, market research, being ahead of the market, being ahead of the technology curve, etc
• This comes by taking a long hard look at how people behave and use products.. thats it

• Provide what the customer wants in a no-nonsense manner
• Google.com does not have a help link for a very important reason... it is not needed
• Ensure that using your new product does not require the customer to climb a steep learning curve

• Tell a consistent and simple story for the product
• Remember those Mac Vs PC ads.... Mac is cool, Mac is simple.. that is the story

• Great product does not guarantee great money
• Even great products have to be marketed correctly, priced correctly , sold correctly and phased out correctly

• Deliver on your promises
• Classic example of how not to do it is Windows Vista... delayed launch, stripped away features, and a bad product too
• In the current environment, when you delay a launch, you not only lose market share, buzz, etc but also the WOW effect. Your prized features end up being common when you eventually release.

5 Visible symptoms of bad project management in IT

I think there are many, but, the below 5 are the easiest to recognise:

1. Politically correct team meetings
The whole team claps for the "best employee of the month", everybody agrees to work harder for the customer and to improve the customer satisfaction index.

• No open thread-bare discussion happens on the last escalation/schedule slippage/fire fighting.
• No meeting agenda
• Team goals are not clear
• No action items with responsibility, accountability & deadlines (esp. a strong NO to follow-ups)

2. Huge gap between estimation and execution
Classic example of this would be:

• Why did 3 guys slog it out in the weekend? 
• Because we had some "production issues" and next version release in the week. 
• Wasn't this known when the project started? 
• How many times has this happened before and what did we learn from it? 
• How are we ensuring that this doesn't happen again?

3. "Perennial resource constraint" because wrong people are doing the wrong job


4. Inability to distinguish between good and bad developers

• Number of hours billed & lines of code typed become indicators of capability
• The best and the laggards are treated equally. 
• No chance given to either to improve further. 
• This often leads to the good ones leaving when the first opportunity is available.

5. Religious adherence to processes and templates at the expense of..... well everything else

•  The whole work stops when we have a time-sheet/audit report/"process enhancement document" to fill.
• Good leadership requires a healthy disregard for processes that are bureaucratic & the ones that don't achieve the goals of the organisation in the correct manner.

Are these happening in your team?

Two years of laziness

I realised a few days back that I haven't written anything on my blog for a little more than two years. Twitter and laziness are to be blamed for that :) BTW: you can follow my tweets here.

Facing the typical problem of not knowing what to write, I started thinking about what all has happened in my life since the last blog. Here it goes:

•  Completed a MBA from Great Lakes

• Went through the recession while in school, not knowing where life was headed (easily the most harrowing time of life) -- learnings from that experience in a different blog soon

• Went through some more roller-coaster rides in life

• Made some great friends in Great Lakes (alliteration unintended)

• Moved from Hyderabad to Mumbai

• Got introduced to the world of ERPs

• Started thinking along the lines of "what is the calling in my life" :)

• Decided (today) that I will write atleast one story and one blog post every week

So, till the next post... bye.

On a rainy day

When a person wants to unshackle from bondage, barriers and fences can only stop him physically, for his mind is already set free when he decided to unshackle. Such was the case with Kamlesh. Sitting next to the window grills, his mind had already left the class-room. Class IV A, room number 403. His mind was in the cloudy dark sky. Seeing the lightnings form. It started coming down with the rain drops, all the way down till they hit the edge of the asbestos roof, and then split into a thousand drops. Some hitting the window pane, some hitting the ground, and others making the grasses look greener.

With his mind, his eyes also spiraled down from the black sky to the concrete floor. His tongue instinctively touching the broken front teeth, which had got banged on the floor last week. Of course, he was proud of it. Cos, he had made Laxman's nose also bleed that day. And more importantly, he hadn't cried. At least not till he had reached home. The dull monotony of the English poems was only broken by the occasional lightning and the steady downpour. He wanted to reach out his hand and feel the drops in his palms, but, then the teacher would scold, so, he kept them in. Inside his pockets.

He was waiting for the bell to ring. To go for recess. To go and get wet in the rain, when suddenly he heard the teacher call out his name. "Kamlesh, Kamlesh. The principal wants to meet you". And Hari the peon was standing next to the teacher. To take him to the principal's room.

"What does the principal want from me? He has never called me before. Is it because I got D in 4 subjects? Yes that must be the reason", Kamlesh thought. He had heard a lot about the principal's anger, especially at those children who don't study properly. Walking on the corridor, behind Hari, Kamlesh could feel the sweat dripping from his palms. Hitting the ground, much like the rain drops. Suddenly, he realized how dark it was, outside the class, like the darkness in his thoughts. Yash had been to the principal's room some days back. And he had come out crying. And he had not spoken for the whole day, only sobbing, sitting silently in his place. His knees and hands had thin red lines. Were they the marks of a cane? "Hari Uncle. How many canes do you get for a D?" he asked. He didn't get a response.

"What if he tells me to kneel down in his room? What if Laxman sees me? He would surely go and tell everyone. Who would want to talk to me then? How can someone even talk to a student who gets punished by the principal. I don't talk to Yash". These thoughts brought tears in his eyes. He wiped them off with his sweaty palms and entered into the principal’s room. There he was sitting. The bald man. In the big revolving chair. To his left, on the shelf were all the trophies won by the school. He remembered the football trophy which the school won last year. The others were just a blur. Behind his chair was Mahatma Gandhi and chacha Nehru's photo. With the cap and the bright red rose. "Chacha Nehru liked children so much. If he had been our principal, he would never cane anybody", Kamlesh thought, holding back his tears, wiping away the sweat from his hands and almost extending them. Waiting for the canes to come and rip his skin.

Right at that time, he saw uncle Kishore, standing to the right of the principal. "Beta, is this your uncle?”, he heard the principal's booming voice. And Kamlesh nodded in consent. "Ok. He is here to take you home. Your parents met with a small accident and they are in the hospital. Don't worry. Nothing serious. They will be back home in the evening. Now, pack your bags and go home with uncle". Kamlesh suddenly realized that he wasn't getting punished. And he wouldn't be sitting for the English and Maths class too. He could also go out in Kishore uncle's car. In this rain. A smile came to his face, only to be broken by the thoughts of his parents in hospital. And those long held tears burst out from Kamlesh’s eyes.

(The idea for this story was given by my friend Nag)

A poet's dream

Kavi Pratap Singh was a very worried man. He distinctly remembered the raja's words--"Ten days from now, in the glory of the full moon light, you will present to the court, the poems and couplets describing the beauty of Princess Indrani, the third daughter of Maharaja Kamnath Singhji. The Maharaja himself would grace the occasion and so would the princess. I entrust upon your young shoulders, the mighty task of impressing the Maharaja and the princess with your oratory skills. And remember.... failing in your duties would be a personal insult to me and to the Maharaja".

It was natural for the raja to ask Kavi Pratap to present the couplets, for his fame in the arts was matched only by the fame of the Maharaja himself. But today, Kavi was tensed and distraught. For it was the 9th day and not even a word had been written. He could see himself getting diminished in the eyes of the Maharaja like the dying candle light on the table. The candle was casting dark shadows of Kavi on the walls, and somewhere in the darkness of the shadow, he saw his future. Bleak and pale. He could see the shame coming. The shame of not able to live up to the raja's expectations. The shame that the raja would face, because, the best poet in his kingdom could not write about the beauty of Indrani--the raja's heartthrob. Who knows, the Maharaja might even reject the raja's proposal--for who would like to send their daughter to a land devoid of any art and artist? Kavi scribbled something on the paper:

Thee not knows when god gave us this boon.......
When he shone your brightness on this soil as the moon........

He instantly crumpled the parchment and threw it away. What was happening to him? Where was the spark in him that had made him write great epics? He remembered those times, when he used to compete with great poets from far away lands. When wit and beauty of verse were his companions. Those days seemed hazy today. Today, all he could see was shame and failure. He grabbed the pot of madira and gulped it. He felt the sweetness, but, only in his throat, not in the heart. He needed an inspiration and he was devoid of one today. Why today, ever since Kamini, his loved one, had passed away to the nether world, he had lost all happiness. Life was merely an existence, waiting for the day he could join her. He looked around him, and saw all the filth and the parchment pieces. It reflected his sorry state of being. All those parchments that could have been the greatest poem ever written about love and beauty were lying torn apart. Much like his inner self. He was exhausted. His hands were paining and his head was throbbing. His face, which once used to radiate confidence and intellect, was unshaven and haggard today. He had not slept for five nights now and he knew that if he did not do something tonight, there might be no night tomorrow. His aching body cried for him to take rest. "Sleep for sometime. Maybe you would feel refreshed enough to write something, when you wake up". To fight this anxiety and depression, he decided to listen to his body for sometime.

And what a sleep that was. As soon as he fell asleep, he dreamt of Kamini. He dreamt of his soul leaving his body and saw his body lying in the bed, lifeless. He was being transported to some far-off place. he was flying with the birds, high up in the sky. Soon, he was higher. He could see the moon and the sun. He could see other stars, and, gradually he felt one with them. It was a strange feeling. The kind of feeling that he used to get when he was with Kamini. The sensation, where distances simply evaporated and beauty was all that he could see. He flew higher and this feeling disappeared. Suddenly, he was afraid. Where had all the stars gone? Where was everybody? Why was he alone? Instantly, as if to answer his questions, he saw Kamini. First his eyes couldn't take her beauty and they wriggled in pain. She was radiating a golden hue. She was like the sun itself, brightening every object surrounding it. He had not seen anything as beautiful as the pearls around her neck. Each looking like the moon itself. Her golden brown hair had been let loose and shone like the sunrays filtering through the clouds at dusk. There was something divine and pristine about the beauty of her face, that mere mortals like him could not comprehend. She didn’t speak, but, their minds spoke.

"No, this is not the nether world, dear. Though death visits everybody, it has not visited you today. You still have a lot to achieve in your world. Of what purpose would be your existence, if you didn't help two hearts beat in unison? Give the raja, the poetry that he wants and enjoy the pleasure of helping someone to reach out to their loved one."

"But I can't write. My heart is no more a heart. It is but a black stone which radiates only despair. I will only bring shame to the whole kingdom."

"Nah, my dearest. Love cleanses everything on its path. Our love will cleanse your heart too. Come let us go to your world ".

With this they started flying down again, and at the next instant, they were in Kavi's house. Together they talked and thought and wrote about love. The words kept flowing and the inkpot never ran dry. Kavi had never felt such content. The content of true love. Of being with your loved one. The content of knowing that there's a heart out there, which beats for you. After ages, he felt happy. The happiness of knowing that one's work would unite two lovers. Soon, the poetry was done, and it was time for Kamini to go. Kavi wanted her to stay with him, in this house, in this world, but, he knew that this world was not her's anymore.

"Do not be sad, dearest. For we shall meet again, and, when we meet again, we would be together till the end of eternity."

With this, she left and Kavi woke up. It was already morning, and, the sunrays were filtering through the half-closed window. He felt a sense of happiness after ages. What a wonderful dream it had been. Now he was ready to write the poems. He was ready to face the court. Tonight would be his night, when his verses would help the raja win over his love's heart. He got up and went to the desk, to start writing, but, the poem had already been written. He read and the verses rhymed and reverberated with love. He was speechless. His mouth went dry, and all he could mutter was

"Thank you, oh angel with the golden radiance. Thank you, kamini."