why did Dilbert cross the road

We all have heard about chickens crossing roads(here in Hyderabad--U can also see cows and Buffaloes crossing roads---I am serious) ,maybe, its time we started thinking , why did Dilbert cross the road??

1. Because that would help the sales dept. in getting 4 more victims(read Clients/Customers)
2. Because it was part of a team-building exercise(proposed by none other that the pointy-haired boss himself)
   
3. Because Dilbert saw a fellow software engineer(a female ofcourse :-) )
4. To join the rival company
5. To start his own company
6. To join the start-up started by Catbert.
   
7. Because crossing roads is another form of stress reliever--just like pressing soft balls and putting your legs over your head and sitting in pain for 10 mins--actually thats called yoga :-)
   
8. Crossing the road was one of the change requests that the client had given.
9. To commit suicide, because, coding in hell would be better that coding in his office(software engineers don't go to heaven and software engineers can't do anything except coding)
10. Beacuse crossing roads was in his yearly goal sheet
    
11. Because the grass is always greener on the other side
12. Because, the new framework being adopted in the project , suggested clear demarcation between different components.So, he had to cross the road and go to a different building , where a different component was being developed.
13. To straighten his tie.
14. Because he couldn't order a cigarette over the net.
    

The Meeting

"He is old enough to be my Grandpa"--thought Alex as he watched the old man ruffle his hands through his hair.The broad features of the face remained the same, the same matured look(as he liked to call it), the small pock-marks around the cheeks,the slight discoulouration around the temples,the small cuts in the lips,the dark circles around the eyes, the mistiness in the eyes.......

Ah the eyes---they were so attractive.Not attractive because of beauty,but attractive,because of the complete lack of emotions they displayed.You could look at them and keep guessing for eons as to what they signified ??

Did they show the cold hard stare of the determined soul,or, were they the epitome of blankness that comes when you lose everything that you ever cared for, or, were they depicting the mental peace obtained when all your worldly responsibilities have been fulfilled or maybe they were showing the simple gaze of a dutiful listener.

These questions always used to whiz through Alex's mind when he used to watch his own face in the mirror, and now, there was the old man's face.

There was so much to talk about,but, what all did the man want to tell??Alex tried to look at his clothes and try to guess the man's profession,but, he immediately realised the folly of his actions when the old man looked at him quizzically and muttered--"U know young man--every one likes to wear a pair of jeans and round neck T-shirt".He eased Alex out of the ackward situation by beginning to talk about the revolution."Revolutions don't require the strength of the majority--it only requires the power of will"--he said. "When we started , our only companions were our dreams and loneliness. We didn't even know who were with us and who were with them.We didn't know whether to trust a person as a friend or to be wary of him.Why others--at times we didn't trust our own people.The only thing that sustained us during those tumultous times was our vision of a grand republic."

"Well the republic did come up--maybe not as grand as we had envisioned---but a republic nonetheless--atleast the people are happy now. You will soon realise that the life you are living--where you serve others to earn your bread--where you curse the people above you and get cursed by the people below you--where every thread has to be vertical and never horizontal--is actually a comfort zone.Your true potential--or maybe your true worth-- will be known only when you start thinking about the world beyond the system. It's not easy to break the system, its even more difficult to live without a system--but atleast you will be satisfied.You will be satisfied, not because you don't serve others, but, because, you will serve yourself."

"Your journey will not be easy.There will be a lot of hardships,why, your destination will be even more difficult than the journey itsef--but atleast you will be satisfied.I won't tell you any more,because, you are wise enough the take your own decisions based on the present circumstances."

With these words, the old man took a step back,turned and started crossing the road. Alex knew that the old man would soon be gone.He knew that the man wouldn't answer any of his questions,but, now he also knew that there was some purpouse in his life.His eyes wandered away from the old man to the gun which was now lying on the floor. Only a short while back, it had been in his hands and pointed towards his temple--but, that seemed like a distant past--even his mental turmoil and decision to commit the ultimate sin--to take one's own life--seemed like some distant dark past.

"maybe I should try out something--let me not waste this oppurtunity--for how many people get adviced from their own self who come 60 years from the future?"thought Alex.

Beyond the rocks

The kuiper belt can be a very cold place, thought Alex.How many people could get a view like this--standing on Charon--the Planet on one side, and the vast nothingness on the other."I may not be the first person to come here, But, I will surely be the first person to go there"--he thought.

He was himself not sure why he had volunteered for such a mission---I guess it might have been the attraction of the nothingness that had pulled him in.Technically , the kuiper belt was not "nothingness"---it had its own fair share of rocks(and planets--as some liked to call it) and his journey was supposed to start where the kuiper belt ended. The debate as to whether some rocks in the belt should be called as planets or not had been very fierce and sometimes even stupid,but, now it had died down--not because, an understanding had been reached,but,because, people finally understood that the discussion was not contributing to humanity in any way--why humanity--it was not even contributing to the advancement of Astronomy.

He didnt bother to see the temperature on the thermometer--for him, everything below -10F was same--"damn cold".He couldn't stop thinking about the future---what would happen to him--he would be going to a place where no one had gone before--only some satellite had gone(he couldn't remember its name--heck was it even a satellite or was it something else) and that too had gone bonkers before it could cross the kuiper belt. He wanted to take complete pleasure of this view--the kuiper belt--its millions of tiny rocks looked like scattered debris of some crashed space-ship.He knew this would be his last view of the belt from Charon, not because he was going back, but beacuse, he would never come back. Ofcourse the camera would keep taking shots at regular intervals--even after his death---but he would never be coming back.

Alex had always been fascinated by what would lie after the belt, why does the kuiper belt end so suddenly,why is the belt in such an elliptical orbit.If I were to be a rock, then after the belt, would I become attracted towards some other body or would I just stay there without any gravitational pulls or pressures---stuck in space--stuck in a place where neither time nor distance mattered--stuck till some other body comes and pushes me(or pulls me ) into some motion.

well there was only one way to find out. With these thoughts in mind, Alex moved towards his shuttle. Suddenly he felt a deep sense of disgust--the same feeling that had troubled him every minute, when he was on earth--the deep negativeness--call it what you want--hatred,dislike,whatever. He realised that it was this feeling that had made him accept this assignment---not his fascination for the kuiper belt, not his curiosity about what would lie after our system, not even the oppurtunity to discover something new and be etched in the annals of history for ever----it was his disgust towards humanity that had made him accept this assignment to get into a craft with a camera and go beyond the Kuiper belt, go somewhere ,where he wouldnt see a single human face ....


Here he was, ready to become another captain Nemo.....

He took one last look at Pluto and fired his thrusters.......