Tuesday, August 22, 2006

my ice breaker at Toastmasters

This is the icebreaker speech(ie the first speech) that I gave at Toastmasters.Some of the points mentioned here(especially about the Dhurva reactor) may be factually incorrect,but, it has mainly been done to convey the boys emotions and feelings.

So here goes my speech............

Good afternoon everyone. I am Krishnan Subramanian.Every member of the Toastmaster's club gives an introductory speech as his/her first speech which is called as an ice-breaker. It normally covers the speakers childhood, his interests,his likes and dislikes, his philosophies in life,etc,but, today, in my ice-breaker, I don't want to talk about myself. Rather, I want to talk about a book that I am writing. Please don't think that its a promotional campaign for my book :-) .

Like every attractive book, it will also have a beautiful cover that would make it stand right out among the other books in the book-shelf.I am so confident that the cover would be beautiful and attractive,because, I won't be designing the cover.

The first chapter of the book would talk about a boy who was born in the temple town of Madurai. Though he was born in Madurai and his parents , grand parents,uncles and aunties, everyone was from Tamil Nadu, still, he could never associate himself with the Tamil culture.He liked to call himself a Mumbaikar--not a Bombaiyite or a Mumbaite--mind you,but, a Mumbaikar--in the typical Marathi lingo.That was because, though he was born in Madurai,but, he was completely brought up in Mumbai and he used to love the city.See, anyone who lives in any city long enough, starts loving it,but, his fondness for the city was not because of time, but, because, he thought that Mumbai was a citythat thrived on ideas. It was a city where anyone could succeed, whatever be the parameters of success .Also, it was a city, where everyone --rich and poor--saw all the aspects of life everyday. For example, the Tatas and Ambanis, they may have costly cars costing crores of rupees,but, still they would have to travel in the pot-holed roads, they would still have to live in a polluted city , they would still have to see the orphaned children and street beggars everyday--just like an ordinary mumbaikar would see. The city ensured that everyone saw both the highs and lows, so that everyone would aspire to fly in the sky,but, would also be cautious enough to keep their feet firmly on the ground.So this was the lesson that our boy learnt from his love affair--fly high with your feet firmly on the ground.

The second chapter would talk about the boy's childhood. Our boy was from a typical middle class background.His mother was a school teacher and his dad was a scientist at BARC, Bhabha Atomic research Centre.All the kids in his colony,mind you, though I call it a colony,but, it actually housed more than 13000 families. I could say, it was bigger than even Madhapur(a place in Hyderabad).Anyway, all the kids in his colony had a lot of respect for BARC,for wasn't it the research institution that had put India on the international map by its peaceful usage of nuclear energy.But, our boy thought that that it was just a very successful hype campaign done by the government and that, like any other government institution, it was an epitome of inefficiency and beauracracy.When he was in the 9th std, he got a chance to see a nuclear reactor as part of a science excursion trip. The reactor that he saw was the Dhurva reactor.It was almost as tall as a 13-storwy building.To go to the reactor core, he had to cross a concrete wall of more than 10 feet thickness.(Mostly inconsistent data--but then our boy was neven good at estimations :-)). Luckily for him, the day he went, the reactor had been shut down for maintenance purpouses.So, he could go right into the core.(or what he though off as the core), and, he was dumb-struck by what he saw. The intricate layers of fuel rods, controllers, coolant pipes,etc looked like a real zoomed-in image of the intricate thread weavings in a cloth.He immediately realised that , what he was seeing was not some art work,but, an engineering marvel, that few other countries in the world had achieved.That day, for the first time in his life, he felt proud to be an Indian,and that day, our boy learnt the 2nd lesson of his life--don't make judgements until you have seen thing for yourself.

Well, I could keep on going about the various chapters of my book covering various aspects of our heroes life,but, you all must be wondering----tomorrow, if I want to go and buy the book , or if I want to go and read the book,then what will I tell the book-keeper or librarian?How will I recognise the book?So, let me conclude by telling you the name of my book. The book is titled--"My Life" by Krishnan Subramanian.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

the cult of 'The Himesh'

A few days back , me and my roomie had a realisation. After listening to the nth. remix of Himesh Reshamiya, we realised that he is the messiah, the true leader of the down-trodden souls like us, who will rescue us from the mindless music of Bollywood music directors like Kishore Kumar, Mohd. Rafi, Bappi lahiri,........A.R.rehman,........Anu Malik(no--not him, he is only a biological version of a Photocopier).

We realised that we had become members of the cult of 'The Himesh' .Membership to the cult is only through the ardous route of realisation ---the realisation that He is the messaih and on judgement day, 'The Himesh' will come in his true self(with a cap, a beard, a microphone and a sad look adorning his face) and seperate us believers from the others, and he will take us to his sacred kingdom, where there will be TVs all around, all showing the same channel---'etc' and always showing songs of 'The Himesh',but, till judgement day, we followers will have to pray--and the only form of prayer is to get up everyday in the morning and sing 'ooooooooo..............huzoooooooorrrr.....'.
Since, membership to the cult can be obtained only through self-realization, so 'others' should not come to know of 'the cult of The Himesh',otherwise,'others' will start persecuting the true believers. Incase, anyone not belonging to the cult, comes to know about it then he/she should be tortured and killed--how? , by making them listen to the songs of 'The Himesh'.You see, the songs of'The Himesh' are divinity to the ears of the believers and torture to the 'Others'.

Now that you also know about 'the cult of The Himesh' and you are not a believer,so, you must be tortured and killed.Just wait,seven working days fom now(Saturday's are also working), you will get a call. When you pick up the phone, thw voice will say'ooooooo....huzzzoooorrrr...' and you would know that the end is nearing.